Backlash on Kai

What is the backlash about when it's concerning Kai? 

1. Parading infidelity

Kai came into the fandom calling himself “Daddy’s little secret”. This made many fans upset right from the start, as he seemed to be parading infidelity. After the backlash happened they started saying Zilv was already broken up with Rourke before he started talking with Kai. However, using the phrase “Daddy’s little secret” shows otherwise. In October 20th Zilv tweeted there is no possibility of a break up. Zilv and Rourke had their engagement anniversary on November 22nd, when they published their anniversary video. Zilv didn't take off his engagement ring until late November. Rourke took off his few days later, in December. According to Kai, he and Zilv had been together since November 5th. The timeline just doesn't add up to Zilv and Rourke already being broken up before Zilv was even talking with Kai.

2. Kai emulating Rourke and following in his footsteps

Rourke's post in IG February 14th

Kai's post in IG an hour later.

In July Zilv and Rourke published two videos enacting their first date. The videos tell how Zilv gave Rourke a hoodie as a gift on their first date, and how they had ”ice-cream fun”, eating ice-cream off of each other's bodies. When Kai came out to the fandom calling himself "daddy's little secret", he also put an ice-cream emoji in his IG bio with a link to Zilv who reciprocated with the same emoji. The fandom interpreted this as boasting about how Zilv is now using Kai as his ice-cream bowl, like he did with Rourke on their first date. Even though it isn't known if that was Kai's intention in the first place, neither him or Zilv took the emojis off after the fans started questioning if this is what they mean. In November 22nd, the anniversary of Zilv & Rourke's engagement, Kai published an IG story about ”missing his hoodie” and tagging Zilv. To the fandom this felt like a deliberate attack, that on their engagement anniversary he would boast about getting the same present from Zilv as what Rourke had gotten on their first date. 
Even before the hoodie post and many times after that Kai has mimicked Rourke's IG posts, which to the fandom felt like open mockery and rubbing the relationship in Rourke's face. For example Kai used the same song as Rourke did in his IG post just hours earlier, he's used the same pose, similar outfits, same or similar references in captions: for example when Rourke referred to the relationship with Zilv as "best chapters", Kai posted right after referring to his relationship with Zilv as "new chapters". When Rourke had in his story a picture of the length of a phone call with Zilv, the next day Kai had similar picture showing a slightly longer call with Zilv. 

3. Kai being insensitive towards Rourke

Kai didn't give Rourke any time to heal, but rubbed Zilv’s new relationship in Rourke’s face publicly for weeks before the engagement even ended and continuously after that.

On December 6th, after 3 weeks of public humiliation Kai claimed in his IG story that he’s been ”respectful to Rourke”. This infuriated many fans. It's hard to know, if Kai was being completely serious stating this - maybe he just is so naive that he doesn't see how his actions look like from the outside - however, for many in the fandom this felt like he was making a mockery.

4. Spilling the tea on Zilv's & Rourke's threesomes

First of all it wasn’t his place to tell about the threesomes. Telling other people’s secrets is not nice and in doing so he betrayed Zilv’s trust in him. Also the timing felt petty. It was within 24 hours after Rourke had admitted that the relationship is over. Just as Rourke was stepping away, and Kai could have been the graceful winner, instead he decided to spill the tea. Afterwards Kai admitted he shouldn't have talked about it.

5. Kai calling Rourke names

In the beginning, while Rourke was asking fans to take down posts about Kai and to stop all hatred, Kai was calling Rourke ”fake”, ”nasty”, ”slag” and ”whore”. When the fandom kept telling him to apologize, he refused to do it. Later on there has been name calling and accusations on both sides.

6. Kai's lack of tact dealing with the fandom

It would have worked tremendously in Kai's favor, had he just stepped aside and refrained from commenting anything until all was settled between Zilv and Rourke. However he was actively communicating with the fans and showed so little tact in it, that he mostly managed to infuriate people more. For example it wasn't Kai's place to talk on Rourke's behalf, like when he stated that Rourke will for sure continue shooting porn, and that if he decides to stay with Zilv and Kai he will be like part of their family. Many people started advising Kai that he shouldn't talk of Rourke at all and especially not on Rourke's behalf, but he continued doing that.

7. Using the picture of Jesus to censor porn

This is basically just one example of lack of tact. However there are fans who felt offended and specifically gave backlash when Kai used a picture of Jesus to censor their porn.

8. Playing a victim

Kai says he didn't deserve all the hate and that people didn't even give him a chance. It's true the backlash has been very hard on him. He's young and some of his misteps might be caused by Zilv lying to him from the get-go. (In his explanations later Zilv said "Kai must have misunderstood" -- maybe he did, or maybe Zilv was telling him an embellished story in the first place.) However, he came into the fandom dedicated to Rourke boasting how Rourke's fiance is now eating ice-cream using him as a bowl. You have one chance to make the first impression, and that was the first impression he chose to make. Then he publicly humiliated Rourke and kept mocking the fans for weeks. Afterwards lamenting how he deserves to have a chance sounded to many like just playing a victim to garner sympathy points.

9. Kai's relatives' behavior

Kai's aunts about Rourke vs Rourke's sister about Kai

Everyone is only accountable for their own actions. However, the backlash on Kai was also partly due to the behavior of his relatives. Two people claiming to be Kai's aunts came to Twitter to defend him and did it by slandering Rourke, calling him names like "whore" and "ugly cunt", and tweeting racist remarks about some of the fans. This wasn't helpful at all to Kai.
His sister also tweeted a long letter speaking on her brother's behalf. This approach was much more peaceful and probably had some positive impact -- however, it could have been better; in the letter the sister implied that the backlash was somehow Rourke's fault and that Rourke should ask people to stop it. Rourke had repeatedly asked people to stop all the hatred. That's why some of the fans became even angrier after reading the sister's letter. 

Kai's aunts' behaviour was in stark contrast with Rourke's sister, who remarked Kai is a victim of Zilv just as much as Rourke was. She spoke very compassionately of Kai saying that he is vulnerable to manipulation, as he is so young and being promised everything.